Assprof, Part I: The application, or I have some serious issues

Now that I have actually started my new job I can finally give you some of the history behind it. I applied for the job middle of spring 2007. For months I had known that the university had a lot of openings in the pipeline and I kept looking out for ads. Getting that would be fabulous; the uni is about a kilometer from my Swedish flat! Seeing the Goose on a regular basis! Lots of friends still in the area. Still parents and boyfriend far away, but far better than me being in a fourth place.

Finally I got an email from the Trønder that the ad was up. Three copies of cover letter, research plan, CV, publication list, a statement about how my previous teaching and research experience would make me perfect for the job, AND three of my most relevant publications were to be sent by snail mail (hello? internetz?) to the uni administration about a month later. Busy travelling, receiving visitors, planning workshop I didn't get much application work done till the very last minute. Too much angst and procrastinating because I knew I would be up against a lot of good people. The unemployment among Swedish PhDs in biology is hight and these positions don't population up every day. Because I really wanted the job I was scared shitless that I would mess it up. And I almost did.

I was supposed to send it off from France by snail mail just before leaving for Easter holiday. But I didn't manage to finish it. Braindead. No synapses working. I printed all the publications I needed to attach, had my CV and a pretty good cover letter ready. For the rest; very rough drafts if anything at all. Continued the struggle as I came back to Sweden to spend the weekend with the Goose in our flat before going to my parents on Tuesday. Deadline Monday 1500.

Only through a lot of help from Hypoglycemiadude my less than coherent research ideas turned into an actual research plan and the rest of the application pack got into shape at the very last moment. The neighbour kids and the PSP helped entertain the Goose while I frantically scrambled to get the application into shape. Had no printer, so I got help from the neighbour again. Had no bike so I borrowed the neighbour's and I speedbiked with the Goose in a too small child seat to make it before the office closed. About half ways I realized that the stuff I had copied in France and brought all the way up North was left behind in my flat (my pulse is rising as I write this. Flashbacks of adrenaline pouring out of my ears). No time to turn back. Arriving 5 minutes before closing time I apologized that the application was not complete. But apparently it wasn't too big a problem, I could send it as soon as possible. I watched the woman stamp my application and sighed of relief. Time to de-stress and be a better Mom again. And as usual think "never again!" but knowing it will surely happen again.

Goose got a piece of paper with the same stamp as my application. Made her happy. And this, folks, was the start of a lot of waiting, worrying and wondering what would happen.